rahima04

DISTURBED!!

2008-09-04T11:24:15Z

On tuesday Disturbed officially popped my fucking cherry.

I think it was the best thing that has evey happened in my life. Yes that good.

I'll bump you up to speed, Disturbed are one of my favorite bands, they are fucking FANTASTIC. This was only the second time they have been to Australia and i almost thought we were going to miss it..like 3 times. But we got there in the end and seriously nothing else even matters. Went up there with a heap of my closest friends as well which just shoved it to new heights of FUCKING SWEET! (Bonnie, Jesse, Tricky, Tuli, Jake)

They have a few supporting bands first, Behind Crimson Eyes who i dident like much (but i'm not sure if that may of just been because all compareded with Disturbed basically blow). Then P.O.D played, i havent heard much of their stuff but they are the guys that wrote 'youth of the nation' which is a pretty sweet song and it had most of the audience getting involved. Their lead singer goes off like a motherfucker as well so that was cool.

Then they started, lead singer got brought out in a straightjacket and they just jumped straight into it, after a few songs he got everyone in the stands to stop being twats and stand up. I think one of my favorite bits was when he was asking how many of us were new to concerts and her said it would be their honor to 'Pop your fucking CHERRIES!!!' XD, the roar was spectacualar.
They dident just stick to 'Indestructable' either, they played hit of theirs from across the board like i had hoped they would. I was going off, i think every time i hear ten thousnad fists now i'm going to imagine the truely EPIC sight of ten thousand fucking fists in the fucking air.
They did a fake end as well, just left stage with no warning and dident come back for like 7 minutes, we roared, cheered, yelled, stomped and roared some more. i think i only saw like 1 person actually leave...fools. They played like another 6 songs or something when they came back, i like to think they were pleased by our effort.

I seriously gave that concert my all, who knows when they will be back?, i'll be there when they are though. I think i spent the whole thing roaring (i like to think i'm pretty good at it to) i couldent speak much for a few days but it was worth it. I just knew that i had to give 200% so i would be happy with my effort.

I came out of it thinking 'I can die happy', which is a bit extreme...i dont want to die, but it speaks miles for how awsome it was.

.........now to get System back together and to Australia.......hell i would settle for Serge.

Spider

2008-08-11T01:35:25Z

I don't get scared easy....like some of my friends.

Mog, Jesse and me used to hangout together alot, mostly at Mogs, sometimes at Jesse's and twice at mine (my Dads reputation precides him) i dident smoke much but they both did and most of the time we would just lie around listening to music and crap.

One day we were at Moggy's just us, well this huge huntsman spider ran up the wall (we get em big) Mog ran away and they both convinced me to kill it so i got a candle stick and through much screaming and such (on their part) i was victorious, spider all squished and green. Because Jesse had been so unmanly about the whole thing i swung the stick around so the dead spider was right next to his face, he yelled and then the spider fell of onto his lap, he screams jumps up and gos and hides in Mogs brothers bed (which is not as bad as it sounds since said bed was 2 meters away). For about a year after this there was a big green stain on Mogs wall were the battle took place.....right on her yr 6 graduation certificate. Nice!

Another pretty cool thing that happened on a similar day was when i made pancakes. Because they were stoned and all Mog and Jesse would try and get me to make them food, i usually did since food it good but i have a pretty deranged mind and one day i went down and made pancakes, cooked mine and then added blue food dye to the mix and made the rest. It was Epic, and Jesse still ate them as well XD

'Who's foot is that?'

2008-07-31T09:24:02Z

When Morrigan and John started going out it was the holidays, i spent the entire time with the 2 basically doing nothing, we diden't have electricity for anything even...anyway its not supriseing that this is when i decided it could be fun to try pot, being stoned all that. The best description i think being stoned for me ever was is that it makes doing nothing intresting so it was obviously a good way to pass the time. I smoked for about 2 weeks basically every day but it got boring so i stopped, i do have some funny memories of that time though the stand out being this.

A lot of the time when i'm stoned i kinda forget about sitting up and slowly tilt to one side and eventually either realise i'm doing it and sit up or be ultra lazy and just kinda stay fallen over, me John and Mog were all on this little single bed i came out of a bit of a stoned daze and looking over across the bed, over a bit was a foot, curious i reached out and patted it 'who's foot is this' i asked taking my hand back. After a minute or so i look over and see that i have clearly patted Johns butt, cue my quick exit. Mog came out after me and we bother practiacally pissed ourselves laughing before going in to tell John...he thought it had been Mog.

Some Dreams

2008-07-31T09:05:08Z

Havent had any good ones that i've written down enough to remember well.....apart from that one about the Pope...drinking....and me protecting him from the Dinosuars......yeah

.....some older stuff then? XD

(After waking up to Jesse and Mog going at it and having a hellish time falling asleep again)

I wake up and me and Tracy (Jesse's mum) tease Mog until she sits on the couch and starts to cry. Mandy's room (Jesse's sister) is an extention to the house and has been turned into a lounge room with an extra front door, some random guy walks in with a chalky limbless dead male torso under one arm, im amazed because it realise i've never seen a dead body in real life before.
A random guy sitting on the couch jumps up and thanks the guy that brought him the torso, he tries to rip out the dead heads eyes (which it magically now has on its head..). They fly out and roll away which makes to guy really pissed off me Jesse and some random guys try and calm the bloke down. We find out that the reason he is angry is because the eye was a glass eye. We find it, its cracked but we add it to his pile of mutilated bulgeing eyes just outside the door, the guy leaves.
I go into the kitchen and Mark (my dad) rocks up in his blue truck, he gives me half a carton of beer, i scull one straight away and he goes into the other room. I go and tell Jesse my dad brought up beer and give him one, Later the beer and Mark are missing. The fridge is full of other brands though. eye guy comes back and tells us how he collects the eyes because they have gangreen.

(No real break in dream sequence here)

I'm a investigator and me and my team (randoms) are looking into a zombie couple who are living like humans under the agreement that they won't kill anyone, they say they like living were they are and don't want us to kill them, they promise they havent eaten anyone and offer to show us around the block. They display how they can magic themselves to look normal to the public. They are nice and me and my team like them as do the neighbours but we find out the guy killed someone so we make a big sign "We'll Miss You" and hang it over their house then regretfully kill them with rusty knives.

(This one was about a year after those 2)

I organised to go over to Jesse's for a games weekend, went uptown to get stuff but got into a rant about how peace works and should work to make the world a more peaceful place. I meet George Bush in the Apothicary and my trying to convince him i'm right causes him to get pissed off at me and restrains me in a carpet. I convince him i'm right so he lets me go. I run down to the school but its dark and the buses have left, a massive soccor match is happening in the top paddock. Were i am is behind were top goal is, Arpad is defending. There is a big hole in the fence which i go through, all the audeince is behind the other sides goal. Julie runs up and shows me her water bottle, she is acting druggy hyper and acting as refree, coach and player for both sides shouting comands. I head away from her to a big group of cheerleaders (like 40) who are doing a Mexican wave thing dance routine, Tula from 'Fat Pizza' is crowd surfing and is then held by a girl who holds her bridal style before throwing her to a guy who does the same. I see Jesse over in the audience with Emma D, he is in a baby cribe with a net over it and Emma is standing next to him chatting, i apoligize for being late for the bus and explain to them how George Bush had kept me hostage because of my peace veiw, i realise how crazy that is and see that i'm clearly dreaming.

(Can't remember a lot of the details for this one)

I'm the main character in a role playing type game which is set in a big old industrial type building with bug aliens and weird people, the weapons are swords and there are magic weapons. The building has big lifts and vents which i follow creatures in to kill them, i'm decked out in full body armour. Alia (sister) is with me following me the whole time dressed in normal clothes and acting basically oblivious the the battles, I jump down a vent to follow a big slug creature and come out on a diffrent floor and see a parade of monk looking humanoid walk past. Me and Alia get in a lift and Caitlyn gets on at one of the stops, Alia is really emmbarrised because were in Rivers.

Chicken

2008-07-31T08:27:01Z

Morrigan and me were once fairly close friends with some Aboriginal girls who lived in upper Lismore, this came about when Morrigan was getting close to John. We used to go up there and stay for the whole weekend because of the effort it took to get home, Amy and Aprils parents were rather poor and one sunday up there we went to the shops and bought things for a picnic before walking to the local park to cook it up on the grill.

I think this was all around year 9, i actually got drunk for the first time there, Amy and April's dad bought a bottle of vodka for me and i sat on the floor drinking and watching 'IT', Morrigan decided the middle of the night was a good time to cut the lawn.....

Anyway back to the park, after food we went exploring, the place had a bit of a creek and a tunnel which went under the highway i think, we gathered up straw lawn clipping stuff and made a fire in the middle of the tunnel....twas a wall of fire. About 10 minutes after this bright idea someone noticed that the smoke was coming out and blowing onto the highway and the open.......so cut to us putting out the fire and moving on pretty quick. Next i think it was John that suggested playing some 'Chicken', you know that game they play in old movies, car vs car and all that?. Our chicken was car vs stupid teens. It was John mostly, jumping out of the way in a relatively safe amount of time of course (well as safe as is possible when being retarded), Mog gave it a few goes but stopped when John started trying to get her to flash the cars as well. We headed home after that......fun day at the park for all

Holy fuck >

2007-11-04T11:49:55Z

I should NOT have to deal with this....seriously who needs Frank, Mark and Franca in your kitchen talking about sex, fighting demons and more sex......its enough to make you listen to crazy anime music full blast on headphones.....and shuder, loads of shudering......

Frank got up and started screaming before.....my music was to load to heard why, i just heard the screaming, my best guess is he was peforming a demon fight......how old are these people again?.....

rahima04 @ 2007-09-22T16:45:00

2007-09-22T07:44:41Z

I think i'm going to buy myself a dream journal.

Unlike some strange people who mentally try to be random becasue they are under the impression that pointless randomness equals cool, i'm actually just like that. My complete nonsense even manages to leak into my dreams.

I don't dream very often, but when i do and i can remeber i alway try to write it down, i was looking through my maths book the other day and found a transcript of a dream i had about zombies, it was sweet :). I remeber in the dream seeing some random walk into the lounge room with a dead bodies torso and thinking 'hey cool i've never seen i decapatated body part before :)'. Things just got weirder.
Anyway the dream i wrote this because of was last night when i was ploting stuff with George Bush of all people and then he got annoyed about something i implied and trapped me inside a carpet. After my triumphent escape i went down to school and witnessed a big cheerleader dance number featuring the actress that plays Tula in Fat pizza crowd surfing. The whole dream was kinda centered on Jesse (i had to escape Bush so i could go to Jesse's and play video games) so i found him and Emma (in a cot wrapped in mossie net) and was appoligising for being late and makeing them miss the bus by recounting why..........during reflecting my brain usaully realises what a load of bullshit my imagination has sucked it into and gets pissy.

lol, stupid brain, my dreams tend to follow a extremely unrealistic path, but by useing places and people i know they get away with it for quite awhile. I wonder if i sleep talk?, i would pay to see that shit

random

2007-08-24T17:29:18Z

Bored?, is it late at night?, nothing to do?, can't sleep?, i have the solution annoy your friends!!!!!, i just went round Bebo posting the most random load of bull shit i could come up with.......this is here because i want a copy of this stuff :P

THE SPLIT TALES OF ETHEN!!!:

1)The other day at Crawl-Home-Drunk-Oclock, Ethen investigated the mystery of..the mystery. He had misplaced his left had and was in a perilous search to uncover the evil bastard...who owned him money (and how). The trail was cold but Ethen is certain the Ted the penguin will help, ALAS! he had not forseen the obsticle of the terriorist group force toast, who had recently been subjet to a hardy gang war with rival fudge packers. Thus machine guns and jam.
His cheating slut of a left hand (and its digits) was surley a lost cause. Retiring to the fact Ethen quit early and went swimming.
Contently muching on a chocolate life sized arm he pondered his next move..which bar should be hit?, test results can back inconclusive and he was forced to steal a bottle of rum from a hobo. ADVENTURES!!!, because rum means pirates and pirates mean sea, and sea means pirates and pirates mean rum. Stuck in this neverending loop Ethen went swimming...with rum, and a hat. All in a hard (confusing)days work

2)THE ADVENTURES CONTINUE!! The loop was broken lack of rum destroyed the delicate cycle, washing was in order, through the mountains Ethen manuvered with his weed wacker on a stick. The holy relic was in sight. Oh happy day!!. Short attention span kicked into his brain, a new tumour friend. Now of to party over the fun rainbow, Ethen and the tumour, affectionatly named Gerry journeyed through the scarced lands with the protection of the stake firing missile gun (great protection against lepasy) which was aquired from the giant puddle of muddy goo and other nasty stuffs, snorkles had been required.
One must not forget however that the gun fires electrically..BRING YOUR EXTENSION CORD!!!!
Unless your a zombie, Gerry argues he can not hold a large calaba weapon, shot him!
Ethen upon the discovery that the leathal head shot he gave Gerry rejoiced upon his good aim and his aquirment of his spiffy new weapon. An expedition back to muddy yucky goo puddle must be arranged, profit would insure!

3)Lit up all like a winter-mass-ness tree and such (with a ceptor) Ethen realised the folly to his plan...MUD WOULD JAM THE STAKES!!!, faced with this simple obsticle the project was forgoten for a individual not suffering from retardation. Odds were high the guns would never find a new home.
Ethen desided to try for the consumption of a smart juice, unable to choose between coffee awakeness and beer happyness a clever invention was created and tested. But that was okay as Ted the pengui had the Detox clinic on speed dial- already on there way even. But Ethen escaped there attempted capture with a daring flight; through a 8 story window, no pigions were harmed during the pain.....several cats....lol
High on life and beercoffeesoda....mainly the later, pursuit of the affections of the solitary and reclusion lamppost were undertaken, alone and rejected Ethen cut down his love with a modifyed chainsaw (glow in the dark shinyness). It was okay though as many inocent bystanders were injured.

4)Ethen and the pole found common ground through their murder charges and ran away to muddy puddle for a daring second attempt, it failed

I shall be performing advanced property redistribution technique, were after if i do not like physical state transferal procedure shall be employed for my own amusement. Comply or i will be forced to perform vexing persons removal tactic on your body.....and possible those of your family and friends......don't worth nobody's advanced intterigation methods will succeed in the disclosure of my secrets.....and all shall be well in the world (aka steal, burn, murder, torture)

This is a little something i belive you need to hear that will deffinatly alter your life course and such.........YOUR CHHIIILLLDRENN!!!!, WIIIILLLL NUUMMMBER THHHEEEE SSSSSSTTTTTAAARRRSSSSSSS
SS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When trying to light a fishy on fire under water always remember to focus your inner gallblader; thus to harness the power of the rotten monkeys. You must not forget on your path to greatness that fun equals pizza explosions, with extra cheese and elk on your side order of light bulb.

The dwarf says 'gender-neteral pronouns', remember and cherish.

Scientists have discovered the disturbing discovery that 9 out of 10 shoes are numb, this brings about the equally disturbing question.

Does coffee bleed?

If this is found true me must face the alarming truth, that life is but a giant cake mold, and we have been fooled; our gooey chocolate centers have been replaced by the mere raisens of society scub...and raisens......with mountains of cabbage.

Remember the egg is the elderly person and your hand is that of justice!
Understand this and you can save lives.
I recommend filling soccer balls with Napalm...

Napalm= Natures toothpaste

Also

2007-08-03T10:09:11Z

Just remembered this thing which i find funny as all fuck being more involved and all, Jesse my male counterpart thats more lazy and has opposite gender attraction (goes with the teretory of male i suppose) is a smoker (were talking weed) he quit once for a few months because his mom made the whole family because she was pregnant, but it dident last.

Well he reconed he was going to try for financial reasons to give up agian, kinda a futil practise, but then irony kicked in to help :P, the fucker got a asthma relaps with a winter cold and has to quit regardless, when i asked why he quit he said 'little for coloum A, little from B'.......lier

AMAZING!

2007-08-03T09:56:31Z

Note from the road: Anything my dad says thats starts with the sentence 'I'm going to build this amazing construction....' is bullshit, that is all

Music

2007-05-30T09:44:29Z

Sometimes i wish more people had the same taste i music as me, it would make life so much easier for me, currently i have only ever met 2, Jesse who i love for this with a passion, and Brent Jodies boyfriend (Jodie and Brent rolled into one 7 years younger in a hot bod is my ideal man).
When nobody likes your music (most loathe fullstop) you cant play it at parties, school, computer room, in the house (i maintain that my room lives alone, which im sure works fine for the rents. I have locks.) not like im asking them to accept blasting death metal, hell even if my speaker could come close to that i still wouldent, common curtesy and all that.

I cant get away with 'PIZZA PIZZA PIE!!!!!!', but 'I wanna fuck you' is perfectly acceptable by all, geez, just because he's asking in a 'inside voice' is no reason to like the fucker :P

LOLZ, mabye i should just try to fix my ipod, i think i'm going loopy.

More friends

2007-05-30T09:18:30Z

I don't think there human....evedience you ask?, well here

Dodt Dodt Dodt....
SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IS NOT HEALTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Caution; Patrick has been acting strangly again (it was the 927 chilli's he ate in Nam....or transforming into todays Phillip) He thretend me he would rip my tenth leg off if it tried to Splintel him again....no splintelling.....how dull! Okay Im leaving so I can say Tawdry (coz its a good word)
Oh Tawdry...and for future notice remember that the formula for fire is "Brooding+Chinese man+Himalayn (spelling?) Mountains in a helicopter", Science prooved that 7 is before 1 and I am Kenya (because there are many Lions and Tigers inside my large toe)
Going cya on Friday...mum said you can stay over this weekend.

And no i did nothing to prompt...This, i guess i'm the crazy one as im still going over...Fuck i haope the tigers of Kenya don't eat me, that would just suck.

Brandon Lee

2007-05-26T16:22:02Z

I decided i needed to show the mega hotness that is Brandon Lee :)

Why he is so much better than all else?, this would be why

Drunk

2007-03-21T07:05:49Z

This entry comes before 60, i just wanted to clear my head of that first :)

Now i live in the country, and despite what you may think the country does not always equal open plains sheep and gay cowboys. what it does equal is outside parties.

Have you ever stubled home drunk barely keeping out of the gutters?, because seriously go to one of my frequent parties and your dead ;), after a party were i have gotten decently smashed i am always covered in bruises, scratchs, and all the foilage i can possible manage to stick to, this is for a few reasons; reason 1- my friends and i 'play rough' does not come into account in this story, but reason 2- 'Missoning' i wish to explore for you ammusment, what this is, is you get shitfaced and run of into the forest, bush or any other nearby location which has either more booze, possibility of sex (missoning and hook-ups mix great), or most commonly flashing lights, UFO's or fairies sightings (or lack of), or hell i'm sure some out there have decided their fat and need to burn of those extra kilo's be running head long into a big fucking hole shitfaced in the middle of the night.

Now there are some major setbacks to this practice, yes it can be fun as all hell (invision that music clip were they all get put in blindfolds and run for there lives through a forest), but as observed the majority get pretty mean concusions, same goes here. Now the reason for this post is to bitch about the torn knee ligament i seem to have mysteriously gained after falling of a cliff of some description. Other set backs would be falling of a cliff, being unable to walk with no torch in the bush and kinda lost. Here is were i recomend to have the music cranking, follow the music in a quite literal sense.

The real topper to this is dragging your sorry ass back to the party then have your body konk out and be sick, funfunfun

Moral of the story tears, twists and sprains= bad, and as my friends tease 'moderation' fuckers. So this post had no real point, shut the fuck up and stop teasing the criple.

Oh but not to discourage anyone Missoning does rock, just yeah try not to die ;), of and grass swimming thats an awsome passtime while drunk.

fanart

2007-02-22T10:38:01Z

Just some rando fanart i did for 'following sea's', i guess i just chuck stuff up her in case i lose it. Blah!

rahima04 @ 2007-02-18T22:05:00

2007-02-18T11:07:19Z

Be quick as u can. U have 3 sec for each answer to honestly put what comes to mind. . . never know what ur sub-conscious may be telling U. . give it a try, remember 3 sec's. Just like word asosiation or something ;)

1. I need a cigarette:

2. Sex:

3. Relationships:

4. Your Last Ex:

5. Power:

6. Marijuana:

7. Crack:

8. Food:

9. This President:

10. War:

11. Cars:

12. Gas Prices:

13. Halloween:

14. Bon Jovi:

15. Religion:

16. MySpace:

17. Worst Fear:

18. Marriage:

19. Fashion:

20. Brunettes:

21. Redheads:

22: Work:

23: Pass the time:

24: Football:

25: One night Stands:

26: Pixie Stix:

27: Vanilla Ice:

29: Porta Potties:

30: High school:

31: Pajamas:

32. Wood:

33. Surfers:

34. Picture:

35. First Love:

Blah

2007-02-17T02:19:01Z

Went out and got smashed last night, was loads of fun, on that note have a random saying...

Spooning leads to forking, but fork me and i'll knife you :)

Laws of anime

2007-02-07T11:09:38Z

Found this about and thought it would be cool to keep. It's from anime cafe.

The Laws of Anime
Version 6.0
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1-Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2-Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3-Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4-Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5-Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6-Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7-First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8-Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9-Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10-Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11-Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12-Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13-Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14-Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15-Law of Inexhaustability

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16-Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17-Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.

18-Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19-Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20-Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21-Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't....

22-Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23-Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24-Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25-Law of Mandibular Proportionality

(from A. Hicks)

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26-Law of Feline Mutation

(from A. Hicks)

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

be female,
will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation,
and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27-Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from U. Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28-Law of Technological User-Benevolence

(from U. Williams)

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29-Law of Melee Luminescence

(from U. Williams)

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30-Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

(from U. Williams)

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31-Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

(from Spellweaver)

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32-Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33-Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34-Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35-Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36-Law of Quitupular Aggultination

(from Daniel Mikula)

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

The Hero/Leader
His girlfriend
His Best Friend/Rival
A Hulking Brute
A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

Extreme Coolness
Amazing intelligence
Incredible Irritation

37-Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

(from Jason Bustard)

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38-Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39-Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40-Law of Nasal Sanguination

(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41-Law of Xylolaceration

(from Lyndon Harris)

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42-Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

(from Erin Alia)

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43-Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

There is no Law #43.

44-Law of Nominative Clamovocation

(from Luiko-Ysabeth and Adrian Hsiah)

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45-Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

(from R. A. Hubby)

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46-Law of Flimsy Incognition

(from Conrad Knauer)

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

Dear Alcohol

2007-02-06T10:38:05Z

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at
heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front
door key into the lock

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully, we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
6. Fight? No way. Let's sit down and talk this out
7. Text message? No I have sent enough for the night
8. Dance? No I should't I should just sit here in the barstool.

:P, spiffy

poem

2007-02-03T14:38:58Z

I love this, can't remeber the author, but its cool :D

If insanity is sticking screws
Up your nose, and laughing
At high volume for long periods of time,
Possibly while stroking a large white cat;

Then sanity must be cataloguing screws
In neat rows, never laughing at all
And refusing to let animals in the house
Lest they make a mess on the pristine furniture,
Yes?

No, it isn’t, is it?

Well, until you can give me a proper definition,
I suggest you take off that white coat,
Unplug the electrodes, and help me out
Of this rather tight jacket you gave me.

And I’d like my cat back, too.

Its very spiffy.

School

2007-01-30T05:16:55Z

School is EVIL!!, lol

Well back for my last year or 3 terms if you want to get techniqual with it, first day up and an assement already simple enough but i just know tommorow there going to chuck a heap more at me.
I'm pretty peved off at the moment they swapped our study room to this room half the size and chucked in the new yr 11 class which is huge, load, smelly and 95% arseholes, oh how i'm looking forward to trying to get any work done in there, like god if both full class's are in at once we spill out the door and there are some real agro bitch's in the new class to. They started stressing the second they saw it.

I had a dream in the holidays that i stabed some of the pricks :P, nice.....

This is the one shot, not that i really expect anyone to read it but first timer here, (apart from s

2007-01-27T09:47:44Z

He stood awaiting his turn,

Oh how he would break this soul, it was young untried and niaive. His job was
to teach this 'inocent mind' that yes there were true monsters in this world, and his
precious all mighty had created them. How he would pray to god to save him, in vain.
God wouldent save him and if he tried it would only be worsen his inedaval suffuring.
True penace for what the lord had done.

The line shuffeled foward.

Blood lust clouded his thoughts, his punishment was always worth it for his outings
why would he care about the jacket?, enough to stop his work anyway.

On this thought he reached the end of the que and moved inside the confesion box.
They would not be disturbed, he had waited to go in last, more time to torment the
green preist now lite up by the dim light. How could he of resisted?.

He started with the old memorys talking in a smooth almost loving voice, like it was
pleasent accounts of a normal life, he shared with a smile and glazed 'happy' face. As
he told the preist of how he never understood the fear in his victims eyes as he slowly
calved there lives away limb by limb. Oh good the preist was afraid, he should be. It
would be his turn soon.

'To resent news', he muttered with a smirk through the thin mesh; he told to the shivering
pathetic boy about the choir girl who he had carved, like a beautiful piece of clay, a true
masterpeice he had made her,long golden locks framing her pretty head, an angel.
blood splattered angel. He laughed at his irony. The newspapers never could show the pictures
to gruesome, like humans werent attracted to it be simply nature. He inlightened the boy

She had represented his pain and his suffering, all which was Gods fault. He had not granted her
praying just as God would not, at the slightest hit of remorse he had simply cut deeper fighting
the lord, HOW DARE HE MAKE HIM FEEL!, if God wanted to fight him and punish him for his crimes
it was fair but he in turn would be punished for his.

God hardly even tried anymore, He knew it was in vain, that pathetic and weak little
Jei was lost, gone forever. And for him remorse, fear, pain, were meaningless.

He had carved poetry into her, to share his message with the world. It never listened, that was
why he had to try harder, try, try again. He cut away her angelic locks, vanity was as
pityful as all Gods other meaningless emotions. He broke her, the fine china doll, shattered
beyond repair, like her skull against the cold wall, the cold world.

He left then, he could hear the wimpers of the preist, this his hope he loved it, how
stupid and pathitic it was faith in some allseeing uncaring force.
He turned and waited outside the curtain quitly, for the preist to gather himself
and run out of the dark box, into his waiting arms. He let out a scream then, antisapated
and muffled instantly, he pushed them both back into the dim dark room.

The fear, the unanswered prays, the faith, he drank it in and poured it out into his new
masterpeice. Just another victory in his vedetta against God.

The war raged on as he left the now quite church, in his blood splattered sunday best.
He was no angel, and as he reached into his pocket and touched the lock of golden hair,

and smiled, he was winning.

Random thoughts

2007-01-27T08:41:09Z

Well basically i made this account to read everything of Kouri and Karasu's that i could get my hands on, there just so spiffing awsome.

But yeah, i just finished reading FIG and arc of theres, its really good the only other relgion thing i've read before is the whole Northen lights trilogy thing, its good but in an entirly diffrent way, i cried at the end of that trilogy, i guess its one of those sad, happy, completely devastating endings if that makes any sense what so ever. Well i just felt the need to stick a random book reveiw in there so dont mind me, lol

I think i'm going to have a go at so Farfie fanfic i have this whole little outline of a REALLY evil oneshot idea i should really give a go (to be honest is revolves around a little god torture :D).

Hi

2007-01-14T07:57:56Z

W00t!, first journel post, HUZZAH!